Why A Public Apology?

I've been doing a lot of thinking on the conversations that challenge most humans, both in my years as a physician, as a wife with 3 kids, and a daughter of aging parents. 

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I need to start with an apology.

 

In my 15+ years of guiding and supporting my patients as an Obstetrician and Gynecologist, and especially in those moments wearing the hat of a clinical leader, I've seen firsthand how the spaces we navigate—be it in healthcare or our kitchen tables—can sometimes fall short of being the nurturing grounds for tough, yet crucial conversations.  This journey has taught me invaluable lessons about the power of empathy and the importance of creating structure to forge genuine connections.  I know that sounds like a paradox.  How do you use structure to create authenticity?  In a lot of ways, it's like having a map to ensure you eventually get to that destination.  Whether you follow the exact outlined instructions or you meander around, as long as you get to the destination, then that's winning.  We need this structure to keep our eye on the destination, when we are listening to our patients or our own kids.  Otherwise, we misstep. Sometimes the consequences are trivial, other times it has a much bigger impact. 

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Whether it was in the sterile environment of a clinic, in a paper gown, or phone messages that took days to respond to, I apologize for how broken our system can be.   And, even in your own lives, when you left my office, to go back to your world, that world was filled with its own hectic chaos.   Whether it was figuring out soccer practices, work deadlines, or just trying to get dinner on the table, finding the right moment for those important chats about life's big topics can feel just as daunting.

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Since January, when I started "Just Ask" (where anyone can ask anonymous health questions), I am seeing firsthand the surge of anxiety around sexual and mental health topics.  My heart winces as I help these teens/young adults work through issues that mostly could have been preventable.  Perhaps, if they had access to reliable, safe, science-based information.  Sure, it's not 100%, but I ask them.  I ask if they knew about these things prior to becoming a teenager or young adult.  100% have said no - at least not in the way they want to consume or understand it. 

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So here is where my heart is at now: I am embarking on a mission to bridge these gaps.  My goal? To craft spaces—virtual and real—where empathy and intention lead the way.  What are we trying to solve so that our youth can grow up more informed, more safe, and more resilient?  

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Imagine an app that feels like a trusted friend, encouraging you that now's the right moment to broach that topic you've been dodging. It's the product of everything I've learned, from my professional battles against a rigid healthcare system to those intimate, after-dinner talks that linger long into the night. This tool is my olive branch to all humans (parents, care givers, young adults), a way to make those daunting conversations feel a little less uncomfortable. 

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We're all just doing our best to navigate this beautifully complex life. 

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So, here's to the messiness of life and to the conversations that make us braver, kinder, and unmistakably human. 

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